The Improv Life: Processing the Weird Feelings of the Journey
I get weird feelings all the time about the comedy journey.
I beat myself up too much for bad shows, failed concepts, ideas that looked good on paper not working out in real life, awkward interactions, friendships I neglected, and failed relationships.
I got a lot of regret, which causes awkward feelings: complex emotions that I’m not always the best at dealing with.
All the regrets revolve around people and how things could’ve gone better. Sometimes it’s my fault, sometimes it’s theirs, and sometimes it takes two to tango.
Some wounds are healed by time; others just hurt more with the passage of the years.
These memories don’t take away from the good times and experiences I’ve had – moments I will hold onto forever – but rather, they serve as a shadow to counter the light of my positive improv experiences.
Like my light, my shadow follows me wherever I go, and I will always be aware of it.
As I write this, I’m thinking of all the faces I’ve disappointed. I don’t know if they’ll forgive me. I hope. At the very least, I can forgive myself, and not let the weight of regret prevent me from moving on to the next thing. In the next thing is another part of my journey that will reveal unknown parts of myself to me.
#improv #journey #people #relationships #awkwardfeelings #emotions #light #shadow